Let’s be direct about something the speaking industry rarely admits out loud.
Your expertise is probably not the problem.
I’ve watched genuinely talented speakers, people with real stories, real results, real ability to hold a room, struggle for years to land paid engagements. Meanwhile, someone with half their stage presence is flying business class to their next keynote.
The difference isn’t talent. It’s not polish. It’s not even experience.
It’s who they know. And more importantly, who knows them.
The uncomfortable truth about how speaking gigs actually get filled
Event organisers don’t spend hours searching for the best possible speaker. They call the people they already know, or they ask someone they trust for a referral. The decision is often made before a single application is opened.
That means the game isn’t just about being good. It’s about being known by the right people before the opportunity exists.
Most speakers are working on the wrong problem. They’re refining their talk, updating their website, posting content, and wondering why nothing is converting. Meanwhile the actual mechanism, relationships with decision-makers, proximity to the right networks, credibility by association, is being completely ignored.
You can be the most polished speaker in the room and still be invisible to the people writing the cheques. Visibility without the right network is just noise.
Why “get more exposure” is the worst advice you’ll ever receive
If you’re still speaking for free, you already know the pitch. Do this one, build your reel, the paid gigs will follow.
Sometimes they do. More often, they don’t, because free gigs rarely put you in front of the people who book paid ones. They put you in front of audiences who appreciate you but can’t advance your career.
Exposure has its place. But exposure without strategic positioning is just effort without direction.
The speakers landing consistent high-paying engagements aren’t working harder than you. They’re positioned differently. They’re in rooms you haven’t been in yet. They’re being referred by people whose referral actually opens doors.
That’s the gap. And it’s close-able, but not by doing more of what isn’t working.
What actually moves the needle
Three things separate speakers who get paid consistently from those who don’t.
The first is positioning. Not your bio, not your topic, the specific, clear reason why you are the right choice for a particular audience. If you can’t articulate that in one sentence, neither can the person recommending you.
The second is proximity to decision-makers. Not social media proximity. Physical, strategic proximity to the people who book stages, run events, and control the rooms where reputations get made. One conversation in the right room is worth more than a year of content.
The third is credibility by association. Who you’ve shared a stage with matters. Who is willing to put their name behind yours matters. Getting seen alongside the right people accelerates trust in ways that credentials alone never will.
None of these are complicated. But none of them happen by accident either.
The hard question
If you’ve been at this for a while and the paid gigs still aren’t consistent, most people assume the answer is more content, a better reel, a stronger bio.
So they go away and work on those things. And six months later they’re in the exact same position, just with a nicer website.
The real problem is rarely visible from the inside. That’s what makes it so frustrating. You can’t see the rooms you’re not in. You can’t feel the conversations happening without you. You can’t know what’s being said, or not said, when your name comes up.
Or doesn’t come up at all.
The speaking industry rewards people who’ve cracked a code that nobody openly teaches. And the longer you spend trying to figure it out alone, the longer you stay exactly where you are.
Some people spend a decade getting there. Some compress it dramatically by making one decision to stop navigating it solo.
The gap between where you are and where you want to be is almost never about your ability. It’s about what you don’t yet have access to.
